Well hello there, Limiting Belief...
One of my limiting beliefs is around my self-worth. Why? If you read my bio, you know that I was a dancer throughout my childhood and into college. I don’t have a typical dancer’s body, though – or at least how it used to be defined – and I was raised by parents who love me and want the best for me, but they aren’t risk takers and couldn’t support the risks I wanted to take. And so the messages I received growing up (purposeful or not) were you’re a really good dancer, but…
You’re not cut out to be a ballerina. You should stick to other forms of dance.
You are a great jumper… really powerful. I wish I had your calves! You just don’t have the right body.
Ya’ know, you really probably won’t make it as a professional dancer, anyway. I mean there are only so many openings out there.
We can’t let you audition for that, you won’t fit the costumes and we don’t want you to get your feelings hurt when they turn you down…
You want to be a dancer? So what you’re saying is you want to be a professional waitress? Do you know how many dancers are waiting tables in New York, LA and Chicago?
We’re happy you got into that dance program in college…just make sure you have a strong minor in something academic so you can support yourself, ok?
Not tall enough
Not skinny enough
Your arms and legs aren’t long enough
You need to lose weight (before you can go “en pointe”)
Dancers don’t make any money
You can’t make a career out of that
You need to have a fallback position
So why am I sharing this? Because these voices live in my head, rent-free, reminding me of all the reasons why I should play it safe, not put myself “out there,” always play a supporting role, why people will laugh at me and judge me as Not Good Enough.
They’ve informed all my insecurities and all the settling I’ve ever done in my life.
They’ve negated all I’ve accomplished with a recurring thought process every time someone compliments me or encourages me in my work, my skills, my passions, my dream of being a coach and business owner. They’re just being kind. They don’t really know what they’re talking about. They just don’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me the truth. Of course he'd say that, he's my partner, he HAS to. *sigh*
Now for the good news… I’m working with my coach on my limiting beliefs around self-worth. It’s not easy. It’s kind of ugly, actually. But it’s necessary. Because it’s essentially me gaslighting myself. And that’s pretty twisted when you think about it. It’s working, though. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to write this and publish it.
The better news is that I know what it’s like to live with these challenges in your mind, and I know that “Just get over it!” is not a helpful or supportive response. I know that having a coach in your corner, truly supporting you in confronting your limiting beliefs, works.
I'm working through mine; and I want to help you work through yours. Sound good? Email me at email@example.com and let's talk about how I can support you in your journey to overcome your own limiting beliefs and live the life you want and deserve.
Till next time,